The following are true stories sent
in by today's caregivers.
a registered nurse, I expected to be a primary caregiver for my family.
My expectations became reality as I fulfilled my roll over the years
helping out with broken limbs, terminal care and other minor events
that were, periodically, set before me.
My biggest challenge spanned six years from the time my mother-in-law
became ill with ovarian cancer in 1994 and my husband died in 1999.
My husband had a lifelong chronic heart problem, but he had always expected
to be responsible for his aging parents who were well into their 80s.
We all lived together between Vermont and seasonal trips to warmer climates.
Soon I found myself the primary caregiver for a chronic problem, a terminal
problem and a dementia problem, all at the same time. I should also
mention during this period I was overseeing my husband's private businesses
and returning to school myself to maintain my sanity. Human ability
to accomplish the unexpected often surprises us; we do what we have
to do! Humor and perseverance are my prerequisites for survival.
When I realized there were few avenues for resources at the time, I
focused my attention and my academic goals on contributing to solutions
for myself and now for others. My nursing turned to case management
with a BS degree and case management certification.
I lived the solutions first hand and now hope to contribute in any small
way to advance the resources available to others who may find themselves
in similar situations. There is always a better mousetrap out there
and the only way to find it is to use your own experiences positively
to help the next person.
Well first off I would
like to say that I have read a lot of the letters and my heart goes
out to all of you.
I am an only child. I am 41 years old, divorced with two children, one
21 that is a full-time student in college and an 18-year-old who is
a senior this year.
Here is my story. In 1996,
my step-dad died and my mom was all alone. She wanted us to all move
in with her because her house was paid for and lots bigger than ours.
My husband at the time saw dollar signs and so we sold our house and
moved in with my mom in May 1996. In September of 1996, my ex moved
out and in May of 1997 we were divorced. He is one of those deadbeat
dads who would not pay child support or help with the kids in any way.
Soon after we divorced,
my mom became ill and has been going down ever since. She really has
too much wrong with her to list and all the doctors can say is that
it is just a matter of time.
My daughter 21-year-old
daughter still needs help from time to time from mom. My 18-year-old
son is a "know it all." .He is still in school and I hope
that he will finish in May of this year, but he has missed so many days
that who knows if he is going to finish or not. My ex is still a dead
beat and will not do anything for our daughter and very little for my
I am a personal care attendant
by trade and I take care of a quadriplegic 5 hours a day 7 days a week.
Then I get to come home and take care of my son and my mother who can't
do anything for herself any more. I also forgot to add that my dad is
still living and thank god is in pretty good health. However, he only
went to the 3rd grade in school and is not very bright. So I have to
take care of all his bills and stuff for him. Both of my parents are
on a fixed income and I don't make much myself. My mom thinks that just
because I am living here that my dad should help her with her bills.
My mom is driving me nuts
and I am so tired of taking care of everything and everyone. I know
that my problems don't sound all that bad, but I am 41, divorced and,
after 5 years of being divorced and alone, I have found a very loving
man who is so understanding and kind wants to be with me and loves me
just as much as I love him, but because of my mom being ill and me being
the only child we cannot be together. It really stinks. I have never
liked the town we live in and I have never liked my mother's and step-dad's
house, but I am stuck here and I see no way out.
Well It helps me to know
that there are others out there just like me and my heart goes out to
each and every one of you.
Best Wishes and Good Luck.
My parents are both 85
and living in an independent living facility. Mother is doing just fine
but my father is another story. He's contrary and refuses to do as asked
- he knows only one speed - slow. Admittedly, his world revolved around
his job and he's never had many outside interests and therefore has
no reason to get up. It would help my mother so much if he would just
get up and get dressed, but she has to hassle him nearly all day just
to get him dressed in time for dinner at 5:00. Right now he's refusing
to take a shower - it's been nearly a week and Mother's at her wit's
end. He is diabetic but it seems to have little meaning to him that
he must eat on a regular basis - it's now after 10:00 and he has not
had breakfast. In fact, he hasn't eaten since last evening. Any ideas?
It's also been suggested that he could be in the early stages of Alzheimer's.
I have just found this
web site. I was hoping I would find help on how to better manage my
own life and someone who is in a similar situation as myself. Hope my
venting now will help.
My story is over three
years old. I am now 36 with a 33 year old husband with Reflex Sympathetic
Dystrophy (RSD). Not many people have heard of it, including doctors.
It is a nerve disorder where he is in severe pain 24/7, he is now on
morphine all of the time and many other medications. Easiest way to
explain it, it is somewhat similar to MS. It has spread through his
body. He falls, has bad shakes, partial vision loss, colitis, sinus
infections. Luckily it has not affected his organs (yet). He is lucky
to get four hours of sleep a night, which has disrupted my sleep patterns.
He doesn't get out much and has a scooter to do so. Temperature and
dampness bothers him greatly. In turn, we don't have much of a social
life together. In the past year I have finally started to have my own
social life, although it is still something I have to push myself to
do. Noise bothers him. I, being a big music person, must listen to it
This all started when we
where married for only three months. We have never had a chance at a
life together. It hurts me terribly that I will never have children.
I try not to let myself think about it. I have had to change so much
of my life. Many of my friends don't understand. His family has been
very little help, they are self absorbed and have caused more stress.
We deal with workman's comp insurance which means: attorneys, court,
and continuous denials, and him getting worse. One issue is mental therapy
for him, they have denied it for two years and had canceled it on him.
This blows my mind. More stress. And I don't want to leave out the financial
What has helped me deal
with all of this is therapy (which I HIGHLY suggest to everyone), a
mixture of Bach flowers which my therapist gave me (I also suggest this
highly), my family (which is primarily phone support since only my brother
is close by) my gardening (which I miss terribly right now). I am building
a new network of friends at a new job. I still have bad days of dealing
with the whole package, yesterday being one of them.
Take care. All of us are
obviously not alone.
I am the only child (female)
of two elderly parents who are both 82 years old. All I can say is that
the dots are no longer being connected in their lives. Mom just suffered
a mini stroke but insists that it was not a stroke but merely a stroke
in her right eye. Dad continues to drive and has two broken down cars
that he alternates using. Neither one can hear correctly and it's now
necessary to repeat whatever you say five times. I have been taking
care of elderly parents all of my life and am very burned out. Matters
will only continue to deteriorate but my folks will not listen to my
suggestions. I am still the child in their eyes and that will never
change. Frustration and stress are mounting and I have to distance myself
from the situation.
My mother is 83 years old
and has cancer. I have been taking care of her for the last two years.
Even though she has insurance, with all of the co-pays and deductible
I am out of money. Recently she was hospitalized and now requires even
more care. I am asking more of a question, rather then telling a story.
It is very hard for me to work and take care of her. Is there a program
or grant or anything to help?
My mother is 77 years old,
was blessed with good health except for her hypertension until November
of 2002. She had been ill and unable to hold anything in her stomach
for quite some time (her husband wouldn't tell me exactly when this
started). I made a doctor's appointment for her and the doctor gave
her something for her stomach and said he should see her the following
Thursday and if she got any worse at all to take her to the emergency
room. I live about 45 minutes to an hour away from my mom and I work,
so I would call over to see how my mom was doing every day to make sure
she was doing better. Well, I was being lied to by her husband. Every
time I would call he would say she's doing better and able to hold soup
in her stomach. Well, a couple days later I received a call from her
husband saying he thought he should call an ambulance to get her to
the hospital as now she couldn't walk. I told him to call 911 and hang
up the phone from talking to me.
Her electrolyses were all
screwed up and she was very near death. She was in the hospital for
two weeks and four days. I found out later, from a neighbor of my mom's
that her husband had been lying to me about my mom because her husband
had asked that the neighbor stay with my mom while he ran an errand.
The neighbor told my mom's husband that if he didn't get her to a hospital
he was going to lose her. THAT'S THE ONLY REASON THE AMBULANCE WAS CALLED.
NEVER MIND MY CALLING OVER THERE TO FIND OUT WHAT WAS GOING ON.
Her husband is an idiot and has no common
sense. He does whatever my mom wants, whether it's best for her or not.
I stayed with her while she was in the
hospital and the first two weeks when she came out because I was not
able to trust her husband to do the right thing and not lie to me. I've
also warned him that if he lies to me again about her health I will
take my mom away from him.
The problem is, I will need to get an
attorney and get social services involved in order to get her away from
him. This guy has my mom brainwashed that he's so perfect and does no
wrong. I will wind up being the villain here and she will hate me for
breaking them up.
So for now, I go over every weekend
to see for myself how my mom is doing. She still needs to get teeth
pulled (she's let them go because she claims they don't have the money).
I've offered to pay to have her teeth fixed but she and her husband
won't let me pay saying "they never take money from family or friends."
My response to that was, yeah, just let things go like you have in the
past and wind up paying more money than you need to (i.e. the hospital
visit could have been totally avoided had she gone to the doctor earlier
and I had not been lied to).
I am totally frustrated with this whole
situation and I bite my tongue every time I see her husband when I visit
If anyone has any suggestions on how
I could get rid of her husband, or work around him, it would be greatly
Where to begin? My mother-in-law,
age 84, was finally diagnosed with small stroke dementia in 2000. Dealing
with her needs has been a tough situation. She has two sons. My husband
is the youngest and we live approximately 300 miles away. His brother
is the primary caregiver or rather I should say his wife is because
he has been in denial from the get-go! They live near his mother. My
husband for whatever reason from the beginning would not try to reason
with his brother. Only by the grace of God and a wonderful godly counselor
is our marriage still together. I am the responsible type and my husband
is very willing to allow me to take on any and all responsibility. I
had to learn to allow him to be his mother's son. Approximately four
times a year, up until October 2001, my husband would go and pick up
his mother and bring her to our home for at least two weeks. That went
on for five plus years - she lived alone. Her decline was quite noticeable
to me and as the trips continued her decline became worse.
I seek any and all information I can
about dementia, a good thing since my mom at age 80 has just been diagnosed
with Alzheimer's type dementia. For 3 1/2 years previous to the diagnosis,
I knew something was going on. We live 225 miles from Mom. I am the
oldest of three daughters. My sister next to me in age lives next door
to Mom and she is in denial! My question is, how can these folks be
so blinded? Because my mother washed, prepared and cooked collard greens
for their New Year's dinner that tasted delicious, my sister and her
family believe our mother is "fine." She's lost weight, which
says to me that there are times she is not eating, although if anyone
asks she will probably say that she has. She gets things confused, and
is still driving locally even though it has been reported that she passes
up the place she is going from time to time. My youngest sister just
wants all of us to get along!
Again, I can only say that God's grace
is sufficient. My sister has told me that when our mother gets to the
point she can no longer cook or knows how to turn a light switch on
or off she'll go to a nursing home "because that's what she wants."
Unfortunately, when that time arrives my mother will more than likely
not want to go. My sister has said that "Mom wants to be in control."
Of course she does. Don't we all. Reality is that sometimes that is
not possible. We cannot be in control because of being afflicted with
dementia or something similar and someone has to take control.
I might add that I was diagnosed with
depression 16 years ago and have been on medication ever since. As I
look back, I probably have suffered from depression most of my adult
life. I will continue to take the medication as long as the doctor says
is necessary. I realize that I must constantly work on myself. Because
of the depression and because my mother has Alzheimer's, I am more prone
to one day have that same awful affliction. I pray even now that if
I do that God will help me to have a joyful, accepting spirit so that
I will not want to go home no matter where I find myself and that He
will get me where I need to be when I need to be.
I am an only child. My
husband and I just moved my mother six hours from my her home town -
the town she thought she would live and die in - closer to us, to an
assisted living facility. This has been an amazing amount of work and
caused an inordinate amount of stress on both of us, but especially
My relationship was never
that great with my mom, she has always been emotionally distant and
we fought a lot when I was growing up. She has never been a good caretaker
of my emotional well-being. We never had good mother/daughter talks.
She took care of my physical body but that was all she was capable of.
Now I am taking care of her. This comes with resentment at times, although
I am accepting my role more as time goes on.
We are just in the process
of closing up her home, my home, where I was raised, which is six hours
from here. We have already made threetrips with both of our cars loaded
with her things for the apartment. Now we have to hire a truck and get
the things we want to keep, the rest we are selling at an estate sale
at 40 percent less because my employer would not give me leave through
the family medical leave act so I could sell it myself and make more
money for her expensive monthly costs at the assisted living facility.
She lives on her life savings and a meager monthly Social Security check.
Her savings will be gone in no time, so will my inheritance.
It is causing much stress
and many sleepless nights. I am in trouble at work, and I am holding
the stress of caregiving and lack of empathy from my supervisor responsible.
I am finding lack of luster in my life. This is really hard.
thought things were bad here until I read the other caregiver
moved in with us last month. She is a COPD, patient on oxygen constantly
and has been in and out of the hospital for the past three years. A
"friend" has lived with her the past two and almost killed
her by supplying her with cigarettes even though the doctors have told
her she had to quit to keep living. I kept asking him to quit buying
her cigarettes but he continued because he said she had the right to
choose how she wants to live her life. We found out that he was only
interested in what he could steal from her after she almost died last
my two brothers and sister that we had to do something to help her.
The four of us convinced her to move in with me and we all agreed to
take care of her. They have helped me but the 24/7 thing is very difficult
sometimes. I am a school teacher with a loving, workaholic husband and
three very active children. My husband has been wonderful considering
how much he dislikes my mother. He even stays with her on his off days.
My main problem is dealing with nosy relatives who think they're helping
but aren't and trying to find the money to pay for her expensive medicine.
She is on a very limited income. I'm glad I found this web site I was
feeling very depressed but just reading about others who are experiencing
the same or even greater problems makes me realize I'm not alone.
know of any way I can get help with her medicine please e-mail me.
After reading others' stories,
mine sounds like nothing, but since I'm not the strongest person around,
it's getting me down anyway.
Mother is 99, in the nursing home of
a retirement community where she and Dad moved in 1976, a week after
my husband died of cancer leaving me with kids ages 5, 7 and 9. This
living situation has been wonderful, and still is, given Mother's status
now. Dad died in '91 and Mother moved to an efficiency, then to her
current big room in the intermediate care section of the nursing home.
She's always been healthy, never broken a bone, recovers from everything.
But recently she had a bout with pneumonia that we thought would take
her -- then she recovered a lot. Now she can walk again with her walker,
get herself dressed, and knit a bit, her only activity. While she was
so sick, my "kids" and I came to terms with her leaving us.
She could only sip ice chips, couldn't swallow, couldn't move herself
in the bed. Now she has almost completely lost her memory and is extremely
confused and consequently extremely distressed. The nursing staff are
outstanding, but they can't be all things to her all the time.
The last straw that sent me to this
web site was her call this evening asking if she could please come live
with me. She promised to help out and do all the dishes and mending
and some housekeeping. But she cannot even put her own clothes on straight!
She is totally unrealistic, but how do I say, "No, Mother, you
have to stay there. You can't live here. I gave her some logical reasons,
but she's so unrealistic in her assessment that it did no good. I don't
want to be pointing out how incompetent she is. I don't want to have
to say I don't want her here. But it almost unhinged me to have her
call and ask.
I find myself wishing we had not given
her antibiotics to cure the pneumonia. She should have gone then, and
avoided this confusing, distressing, anxious, pointless time.
My troubles are so much less than some
others I've read, but they are mine and I need some support. I am an
only child, by the way, and my other two children live a day's drive
away. They all love Grandma. She's been a strong and wonderful Grandma,
but she's lingering now and being trouble to herself and everyone who
Thanks to whoever is listening out there
I'm having a hard time
trying to start my story. Where do I begin? I have to start somewhere.
My mom has had emphysema
for the past 11 years and has been on oxygen day and night for the last
5 years. She has gotten to the point where she can't take 2 steps without
having to stop and sit down because she can't breathe and gasps for
air. It's heartbreaking to watch her because there is NOTHING to be
done about it. She has limited use of her arms because if she raises
them it make it harder for her to breathe Even going to the resort or
using a potty chair is hard for her. The least amount of exertion will
In June of 2001 she went
into the hospital for a simple day stay, maybe overnight, laser gallbladder
surgery and the surgeon that did the operation cut her main bile duct
in half. We stayed 2 weeks in the hospital. I say we because I stayed
right there with her to help give her the care she needed because the
nurses at the hospital could not give her this kind of care. I took
the time off work, thank goodness that the company that I work for was
there for me and saved my job for me.
There were all kinds of complications
from this error, she had to wear 3 bags on her side for months. For
a year she had to have ERCPs done every 2 to 3 months to keep her bile
ducts clear because they had to "install" stints
to keep everything moving. There were so many doctor visits that I can't
even remember them all. This past June she was referred to a transplant
surgeon because the injury was so close to her liver that they thought
they may have to remove part of the liver or do a liver transplant.
The operation was a success and everything was supposed to go back to
normal. I took another 4 months off work to help her because she needed
constant care and again my company saved my job for me. During this
recovery time she was in constant pain and was very depressed. In October
the doctor gave her the all-clear and told her that she would have this
pain for the rest of her life. That made the depression worse.
In September of this year my stepfather
hurt his back at work and is not able to work, doing anything at all,
not even around the house. That created money problems for them because
of the lost income, and they are trying to deal with that problem now.
I have kept secret the money problems that I am having, being out of
work for so long, I try to catch up on my bills with the little bit
of money I have coming in now but I find that it's impossible to do.
My phone rings off the hook from bill collectors and it makes me feel
sick to know that I'm in a place like this.
There is NO way that I can ever let them know this. I cashed in all
my stock to live for the 4 months but all that money is long gone. My
home life is almost destroyed, my man has severe health problems of
his own, such as DVT, depression, blood clotting problems, problems
with his joints and back problems from a neck injury. He receives a
small SS check each month but it's not enough to cover to household
expenses. He needs my income to help with this.
He thinks that I don't do enough for him or around the house and that
I need to put my priorities in order. There is nothing that I do that
pleases him, and I mean NOTHING.
I have to work at least 4 days a week
just to keep the household running so that takes away the time that
I could be spending with him or my folks. The extreme problem that I'm
having now is that my mother's condition has gotten so bad that she
needs me there to help all the time. She only lives 30 miles away but
it's a long 30 miles when she can't breathe and she needs help right
at that moment. I don't know what to do, I might have to choose between
my man and my folks. My folks won't move in with us because their worried
that if anything happened between me and my man that we would all be
stuck with no where to go.
I have my own home but it's so far out
in the country that it takes EMS 15-20 minutes to get there and that's
not an option. It takes only 5 minutes max from their home now. I would
have to move in with them.
Does anyone know of any place that offers
financial support for someone like me? I feel there is no where to turn.
I'm sorry that I carried on so, but I feel a little better.
I am single, and 50 years
old. I am generally an easygoing, upbeat person with a great sense of
humor (which I am grateful for), but the past five years have been very
tough dealing with my aging parents, and a younger brother who had cancer
(he is now doing great, which is the happy part). My Mom has Alzheimer's
and is in a nursing home near me, and my Dad (82) has been living with
me for the last three years. He has problems with depression and is
being treated for that. He attends a day program for adults with mental
problems, which I take him to each day. He takes a medical motors bus
home at 2:30. He is there when I get home from work. He is there all
the time, and totally dependent on me for his entertainment, etc.
I have taken care of all
the paperwork, finding doctors, getting the right medications and care,
etc. I am the only one near to care for them, and they count on me for
their "happiness" or little happy moments. I love my Dad and
my Mom, but I am ready to lose it sometimes. I have NO time alone in
my own home. I have two small dogs I adore, and they are a good distraction
for myself and for my Dad. I wish my Dad would want to go to an assisted
living type place, but he likes being with me. Then he could come visit
me on weekends or whenever he wanted, but I would have some space and
have a life of my own. Am I being selfish? Could I live with the guilt?
I know I will miss him in ways and I worry about him all the time, but
I hate that the way things are now; I have only two opposite possibilities
- that my Dad is with me all the time or that something happens to him
and he dies. I don't want that. I have so many conflicting emotions,
but I'm finding myself really resentful and angry lately. It's not right.
So -- looking to share some of these feelings and wondering how others
are handling situations like this. Thanks.
I am 31 years old, an only
child with a deceased father and a mother (70) who has Alzheimer's.
Doctors and social workers tell me that I am young to experience this,
and my friends don't know what to say or how to help because they don't
understand my reality. We share a house in Pittsburgh. I have two careers
to support us, and it's getting tougher to juggle everything. I would
like to learn if there are other 30-something, only children caregivers
out there who are in a similar place. I need reassurance that I am not
so alone. Thanks.
My father died in August
and my 82-year-old mother has moved in with my husband and me. Prior
to this we had to get custody of our 5-year-old granddaughter. We only
have a 3-bedroom home, which is now full, and my mother is very unhappy
at having to give up her home and so many of her "things"
to move in with us.
She had a stroke 10 years
ago and is pretty feeble. Her mind is sharp but she has difficulty expressing
what she wants to communicate and difficulty understanding what others
are trying to communicate to her. There is no way she can live alone
(which she wants to do), and she becomes pretty angry at times. This
is unlike her. I have also had to become pretty firm with her at times,
because we had to dispose of so many of her belongings that she didn't
want to part with. My husband's daughter is also a problem (the mother
of the grandchild we have). We had to have her commited to the state
mental hospital due to drug related (we think) paranoia and psychosis.
With all this happening since March it is creating alot of stress for
me and for my husband. After reading some of the other stories, mine
doesn't seem so bad but I would like to know how some of you caregivers
of aging parents cope with situations like this. I guess I'm feeling
guilty, and a little resentful as well, for having to take the role
of being my mom's "parent." Thanks in advance for any advice.
My 86-year-old mother and
89-year-old stepfather live with my husband and me. We have 7 children
also. My father has had to go on dialysis recently and we finally have
a routine down with him. He gets severe dementia when big changes take
place. So that is under control now.
My mother on the other
hand is in a wheelchair most of the time due to weakness. She seems
very depressed and lonely. She used to love to sew but her eyesight
has stopped that and that is her biggest dream...to sew again. She eats
so little that she is very thin which contributes to her weakness. I'm
going on different web sites now to see what I can do about her appetite.
I love having them here with us and wouldn't change a thing. They have
lived with us for 8 years and while there have been many difficulties
over that period of time it has been more of blessing than anything
My biggest hurdle is my
lack of knowledge of their special needs. I don't usually find out about
it until there is a crisis. My mother is in the hospital right now because
of severe dehydration; we found her in her a non-responsive condition,
eyes rolled back into her head and drooling. She has greatly improved
and will probably be home in the next couple of days. My biggest fear
right now is that something else will happen that could have been prevented
due to my lack of knowledge. Her doctor called last night and is going
to send out "In-Home Health" to see if they can help but any
advice from those who have been there-done that would be a great boost
for me (and my parents as well). I don't want them in a home other than
ours where we can take care of them. Having them with us is a tremendous
blessing to our entire family. Thank you all.
I am a 47-year-old woman
with both parents still living. Dad is 90 and mom, 86. Both are in reasonable
heath. Sometime the demands get to be too much. I am in the beginning
of menopause and some days I feel like I'm going to blow, which I did
about an hour ago. Guess I need a good word. Thanks.
It was mentioned to my
sister and me that we may not be successful in getting my Mom to agree
to move into assisted living, and sometimes only a crisis will make
it happen. I really do not want to wait for a crisis. The idea of having
someone visit everyday will not work either. My Mom will still be alone
at some times during the day. I have family at Cape Cod where my Mom
lives and her situation is putting a strain on my whole family. She
continually gets lost. Strangers pick her up and report her to the police.
The fire department has called me several times because she has caused
some problems in her home. We receive calls from her bank, the senior
center, and the supermarket where she tries to shop, etc. I need to
act quickly; my Mom's safety is at risk. My sister and I live 130 miles
North of the Cape and need to move her closer to us as soon as possible.
My sister's husband (close to 70) has serious high blood pressure and
my wife and I are not in good health either. My Mom has said time and
time again that she would not live with us. My sister and I have found
an assisted living complex close to where we live. As much as I dislike
this idea, I have been told that we could seek legal council, claim
her incompetent and move her into assisted living. We have had some
advice as to whom we should call. However, it seems highly probable
that this is nothing new in the world of senior citizens. Do you have
any advice? It appears that everyone is afraid of liabilities and tend
to give very skimpy advice in fear that they will be liable if something
goes wrong. In the meantime my Mom is at a high risk of getting hurt
or susceptible to all kinds of dangers. Please find someone who will
provide experienced and reliable advice!
On Feb. 10, 2000, I got
a call from my youngest brother that something was wrong with my mom.
By his description it was a stoke. It's been downhill ever since. I
lived the majority of that first year in the ghetto of Philadelphia,
where my parents had resided for 36 years. It was now infested with
drug dealers. Then my mom got "A" fib and needed a pacemaker.
Then she had an allergic reaction to Liquid Ativan and was constantly
hallucinating. Then she and my dad needed cataract surgery - my dad
never drove and my mom couldn't anymore, so they, or I should say my
mom, agreed to move to the Poconos with me so I could take care of them.
It's been one thing after another. My mom has been in the hospital more
than out. She has died almost 4 times. She refuses to write a living
will, so she was placed on a ventilator, which we finally had her removed
from and she lived. The last stay she was so bad - she was no code -
had the last rites and made it again. This women just lives on. The
emotional stress is hell. She is now at home.
I have an aunt in Puerto
Rico. I live in NYC. I'm trying to find out if there are any elder care
managers in Puerto Rico. I've already contacted the National Association
of Professional Geriatric Care Managers and they didn't know of any
in Puerto Rico. Any information would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.